I'm Still Stealing Jokes.

[MaggieMoo]

I have to admit... Women are a heck of a lot prettier than men. Oh, wait, am I generalising?



Men are so much fun to pick on though. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[MaggieMoo]

Ah-ha

.... Peter,



Give me a couple of months and you will get your answer. Hahaha.



<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/officechair.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':officechair:' /> I think I imight try this with my computer chair.... Wooaaaaaa!



OOppps fell off. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Cry.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Cry:' />

[MaggieMoo]

<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Whistle.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Whistle:' /> <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Whistle.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Whistle:' /> <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Whistle.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Whistle:' /> Nope! You'll get boo out of me... Hahaha.



<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Cuppa.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Cuppa:' /> Don't mind if I do... Love my coffee. Tea is for girls... Um, er wait, I am a girl. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':o' />

[MaggieMoo]

Now my dear crooner... It would hardly be a secret if I spilled it, now wouldn't it?



I cannot be tempted with cash... Though I must say you almost had me with the song... Phew! I love a smooth crooner. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wub.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':wub:' />



Sip, sip...<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Cuppa.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Cuppa:' /> Thanks

[MaggieMoo]

Ok... You tell me your secret... I'll tell you mine... <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Whistle.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Whistle:' />

[MaggieMoo]

Ah Peter, you are going to have to do better than fruit and eggs, my dear sir. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />



"I 'aint ' a sayin' 'til he duz" No Sireeeee.....





Hahaha.



I have to have coffee today Peter. Head's all over the place, from yesterdays drinks hee hee.<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Cuppa.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Cuppa:' />

[MaggieMoo]

Peter! me Moral!... Well I never. Of course I am... In the words of Eliza Dolittle... "I'm a gud gerl I am... Wash'd mi face 'n 'ands, befor I com, I did!" <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Whistle.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Whistle:' />



Want to know where I got the line from... "'aint a sayin' 'til he does'. A movie called Calamity Jane, starring, Doris Day. It was a musical. She used that line once, She also used that line. "Come to think of it, that 'aint-sa-funny!" I love using movie lines. I have to say I have heard of the song. Sorry.



Am relaxing with a coffee now. Mmhmm...<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Cuppa.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Cuppa:' />

[MaggieMoo]

Moral: Our miss Doris Day was as moral as they come... She was such a good girl. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> But falling asleep in the middle of a show Peter... Downright spoil... That would have been a good show to watch. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':o' />



Oh and Howard Keel. Phew! His voice gave me goose bumps. I liked him, more than a lot... hee hee.



Secret... Secret, what secret hahaha... Hang in there, one day it will come out, when you least expect it.<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />





You, learning how to bellydance, <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dance.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':dance:' /> me... <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/LMAO.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':LMAO:' />

[MaggieMoo]

Excuse me young man.... But are you picking on my belly? I'll have you know I have the best shaken' belly, of all the Northern Suburbs... "I just have certain ideas 'bout modesty... That's all!" (Another line from Calamity Jane. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />



Poor Dorris Day. I don't think she was a naughty girl a few years ago. I just think she was going through depression and went into hybernation. Well, we are not a fly on the wall in her home, so we really don't know the whole story. I do believe she was very ill. But I haven't heard of her passing, so she might still be with us. Just taking a <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Sleepy.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Sleepy:' />



In reference to Woody Allen... Well all I can say is, I don't take well to men who chase girls... I don't mean the norm, but the odd type who go for underage girls. Especially a daughter... Ewww... Step/adopted or whatever. That should have been made illegal. Ok, to answer your question why? Well, maybe it was his money, she liked... Or maybe it was his humour. I take well to humourous fellows. I love to laugh and may have fallen for a fellow who joked/kid around all the time. But not a father figure. Now that would be just too weird.

You didn't like Howard Keel... Phew, if he was in Melbourne today. He'd be the only fellow I would change my sweet ways for and chase. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rundog.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':rundog:' />



My dear sir... How can I tell you the secret... Um... I think I will leave a clue. Nope, have change my mind, no clue, so there!!!



Haven't worked out dinner yet. It's such a challenge. I dislike cooking (though I have been told I do it well.) But what I hate even more, is chosing what to cook. Oh wait... Tonight we are eating dinner out in honour of my daughters birthday on Wednesday? [url="http://smileycons.com/"][/url] I forgot.... Yahoooooo! I don't have to cook. Yea. What about you? What are you up to, for dinner?

[url="http://smileycons.com/"][/url]

[MaggieMoo]

You know what I think Peter, I think you wish you could move your belly better than I can move mine... But you just keep dreaming buddy. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dance.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':dance:' />



Actually I don't have a good memory for the movie lines. I have spent a lifetime watching movies... (Long story!) I've watched them over and over again. It's not a good memory, more so someone who has always wanted to act in films/stage.



I would chase Howard Keel in a wheel chair, a billy cart... Or whatever... Anywhere. He has a voice to die for. Ok, that's enough drooling, I'm messing up the keypad, darn it!



Um. have never really liked Charlton Heston. Not my cup of tea. He can't sing and not funny enough, sorry, I don't go for the plain actor type. One has to have the whole package for my liking. So yes... there are a few odd people that are safe around me.



Secret! I Clue, well, if it is keeping you awake, then here is a small clue. ksdjf;ah;ashgv;ikajshfnv;kajdfhlehg;akjsdnv/askjhf;ah.... oops fingers on the wrong keys. Looks like you won't be getting any clues today. Hahahaha.



Your dinner sounds ok... We went to an Italian restaurant in Lygon Street. Very nice thank you for asking.

Ciao a domani.

[MaggieMoo]

Hey there Peter,

A tiny peck is more than I have. Congrats to you dear sir. (wolf whistles) <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Whistle.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Whistle:' />



So you like Mr Heston ha? Typical. I bet you dreamed to be just like him. Hahaha - and for your information, I don't use spelling when I am on line. So there! Oh, I am so snappy today aren't I? You wouldn't have a joke you could shout me, would you? <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/mellow.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':mellow:' />



Hey, after the spelling insult, no answer for you on the secret.... Nah, nah, nah, nah nah!!!! And I don't care what you do to my toilet paper! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />



We did enjoy dinner and unfortunately for us we had a female waiter with an American accent. I bet hubby was happy. She was quite a looker I suppose. Alas I miss out again. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[MaggieMoo]

[url="http://www.melbournechat.org/index.php?app=core&module=attach&section=attach&attach_rel_module=post&attach_id=905"][/url]



Oh Mr J, thank you kindly for my present. I loved the joke. It did put a smile on my face. Such a gentleman.<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Love.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Love:' />



I think you would have made a great Charleton Heston... No, really. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/thumbsup2.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':th' />



Ok, ok, I'll tell you the secret... Are you ready... Move in closer to the screen, hmmm, I'm waiting... Closer. Here it is... Men are easier to pick on, because they like to please their lady and will allow themselves to be picked on, by us... Just to make us happy. Hee hee hee... That's it. The secret is out. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/LMAO.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':LMAO:' /> <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/LMAO.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':LMAO:' /> <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/LMAO.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':LMAO:' />



Um I don't know about the waitress leaning forward or not, but she was very attractive none the less. You would have surely drooled Mr J. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wub.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':wub:' />



Oh, thanks so much for the flower? <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Rose.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Rose:' /> and beer <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/piwo.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':beer:' /> ? truce... We are now close friends again. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/thumbsup2.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':th' />

[MaggieMoo]

Ouch... Young Peter is after me... Hahahaha... <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rundog.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':rundog:' />



Ah! Secret women's business is now open for inspection!

OK I got real close to the screen and glasses on, I turned on my hearing aid and waited in anticipation!



I'm glad the secret is a good news to you sir. Are you pleased that it's all out in the open. Now I can pick on you and know that you like it. hee hee heee... No, no, I will be a good girl (most of the times... Hahahaha)

You said... "I cannot imagine a decent life without women! So there! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wacky.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':wacky:' /> " I am truly happy you have said this and I am sure your wife will be, ever so pleased



Sorry about the uniform ladies who don't lean over you... Maybe you have to use the secret and they might. Hee hee.



Hey, never mind the Charleton Heston thing... One can dream.



You said... "Here's another flower. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Rose.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Rose:' /> And a beer. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/piwo.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':beer:' /> And a bit of a quick peck! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Kiss.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Kiss:' /> " Is kissing aloud on furms?

[MaggieMoo]

Ok, no kissing... But plenty of flowers and coffee.. Golly there's so much to remember, my old brain can't handle the pressure. Hee hee



South Pacific. I know this one. I loved that movie. My favourite song... "I'm going to wash that man right out of my hair."



To easy Peter, I love my musicals. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[MaggieMoo]

Mr J,



I remember the officers had the dames! You're right about the officers... Hahaha... Maybe they just had to entertain themselves.... Hahaha?



"Some enchanted evening..." My favourite verse from that song is...

"Who can explain it?

Who can tell you why?

Fools give you reasons,

Wise men never try."





You said... "See it's an early feminists theme song. See you feel good in control. But dear Maggie it's an illusion! [url="http://smileycons.com/"][/url]"

<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Cry.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Cry:' /> Oh, now my heart is broken...





You said

"Now Glen has rules about kisses, but what about hugs? I dunno, maybe they are OK!

[url="http://smileycons.com/"][/url] That's the flower, so here is the coffee. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Cuppa.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Cuppa:' /> <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Cuppa.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Cuppa:' /> "



Thanks Peter, that is really sweet. I accept your flower and coffee... Please accept my dancing invite... <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dance.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':dance:' /> Ok, so let's see you move those hips.

[MaggieMoo]

Hi Peter,



Beautiful Polynesian girl in South Pacific. You're not wrong there. Wasn't she just stunning.



Me feminist... Ar, no... And no big come back. I am a little nerdy woman, whose heart breaks easily... <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Cry.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Cry:' />

You said.... "Hips I don't have, my name is not John Travolta. But I have a feeling if I could dance your socks off I may win your heart! [url="http://smileycons.com/"][/url]"

Oh Peter, if you could dance... We could become the famous Northern Dancers... Hee heee... In reference to winning my heart, well you would have to be as good as Mr Travolta for that one..." Hee hee.





Poor dear, you need a bex... I have actually never heard of the word bex and had to look it up. I hope you enjoyed your tea. Good night sir. Sleep well.





I'll be here waiting for your. [url="http://smileycons.com/"][/url]

[MaggieMoo]

Gosh Mooie.

Have you been waiting long? [url="http://smileycons.com/"][/url] I've been waitin' n' waitin' n' waitin... All day long. Hee hee.



OK speaking about J Travolta check out these dudes! [url="http://smileycons.com/"][/url]



[url="http://www.melbournechat.org/index.php?app=core&module=attach&section=attach&attach_rel_module=post&attach_id=906"][/url]



I just bet you loved that show. I did. [url="http://smileycons.com/"][/url] [url="http://smileycons.com/"][/url] Cotter [url="http://smileycons.com/"][/url]



Oh I did love that show... Um, let me see, Vinny Barbarino... Washington, Horshack... Golly I can't remember the Mexican's name.



Know what else I loved "Mind Your Language" I loved teaching shows as a teen... hee hee. Did you like Mind your language?



Catch ya' later. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[MaggieMoo]

OK Mooie, no more long waits. (Perhaps). [url="http://smileycons.com/"][/url]

Hahaha... Listen here Peter, I have cleaned house, fixed my hair, filed my nails... Even coated them with lovely red nail polish. And you still aren't around... Hahaha... Just kidding - the nail polish was clear... Hee hee.... I'm sorry I am being naughty aren't I? I don't mind the waits. I am busy writing my next masterpiece whilst waiting anyway. Hey! It's tough being a famous writer. (I wish <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> )





I can't remember any more gritty shows now.



What about the one with the Dentist (tee hee) in it? Called My family. (I think or maybe Our Family).

I don't remember it, sorry.



I see that Kotter is on Monday on ch 7Two at 2.30PM.



Yes sir and Mind Your Language is also back on Saturday nights... Can't for the life of me remember what time. 6'ish roughly.

Benny HIll... Loved him, loved him, loved him... He was fabulous, I espcially likes his little didties. He produced some memorable work. Cheeky but memorable.<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/thumbsup2.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':th' />

[MaggieMoo]

Hi Peter



Poor Benny H!

Iliked all of his monologues, I once read that he wrote every one of them on his own. What talent. Oh yes, he was a cheeky man chasing all the gorgeous girls around.... And so on. But it was all fun and entertainment. I have to admit he was never politically or morally correct. But comedy is suposed to be that way. Like those famous Carry On movies... I mean really do be people actually live that way in real life? When the snobs came along and cleaned up comedy... They tore away the fun an added foul language instead. So now we just have comics who spend more time swearing through their performance than comedy. Sad really.

Heck here's you chasing me. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/pacman.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':pacman:' /> Err I wish! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':unsure:' /> I'm not good at chasing. Maybe one day... Hahaha



Oh BTW Moo!

If you were waiting for me to help with the housework, forget it. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Whistle.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Whistle:' />

Pay first then housework. My rules see! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Shame On You.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Shame:' /> I will pay you $4 to clean the whole house... Hey, nothing wrong with that, it's only a small thing. It's a little unit. You would probably only take an hour or so... The Spray and Wipe is on the kitchen sink and the Pine-O-Clean in the laundry... Enjoy. Hahaha



Thanks Peter... Yum... My first today <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Cuppa.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Cuppa:' />

[MaggieMoo]

HI again junior,



I don't take well to foul language either. Recently my husband bought my son an XBox game. It's a war game and through the whole thing, all one can hear is the swearing. I'll never understand the concept. Don't get me wrong I have let out the odd word hear or there. I'm not a complete saint. Just the constant swearing. I know a fellow who can't pass three words without saying the "F" word at least once. Then another three and then another "F" word... This goes on throughout the whole conversation and I cannot stand it. Needless to say I don't socialise with him as much these days.

Looks like I'll have to chase you. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/pacman.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':pacman:' /> You better hit the Gym and fit up. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sports.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='ports:' />



Peter don't you worry, this time tomorrow I will be doing backflips... Um, ok, maybe not backflips but will be back on my jogger, hey maybe I will put a pic of you in front of it... this way when I get into <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sports.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='ports:' /> mode, I'll think I am chasing you... hahahaa



Ok, ok, I will up your salary to $5 and nothing more. Hey, I'm not rich. If I wanted a fancy maid I would have hired one.

Also I think two breaks is adequate and I will shout you coffee plus dough-nuts, but that's it... My offer stands!<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wacky.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':wacky:' />



Ciao mio amico.