Kids Jokes

[sandeep]

Qoctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm the school bell.



A: Take These tablets and if they don't work give me a ring in the morning.

[iblis.raeb]

One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks "Miss can I please sleep with you tonight ?".



His teacher replies "NO"



Johnny moans and says "But my mummy lets me".



"OK then, just for tonight" the teacher replies.



Johnny jumps into bed with her and asks "Miss can I please play with your belly button with my finger".



She again says "NO".



"But my mummy lets me" says Johnny again.



"Well I suppose it's OK" replies the teacher.



Things are silent for a few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming "THAT'S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON"



Little Johnny replies "It aint my finger either".

[glen]

Not sure that is a kids joke iblis!!! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Chicken:' />

[iblis.raeb]

;-)

[iblis.raeb]

That's a great story joke, Peter.



----



Little Johnny was 12 years-old.

[SandyHE]

Haha~~~



One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire." The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."



<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Whistle.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[SandyHE]

[quote name='PeterJMelb' post='28405' date='Jul 30 2010, 12:54 PM']Hi Sandy.



I like it![/quote]



Good to know. One more. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Money Eyes.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />



A husband and a wife are waiting at the bus stop, and with them are their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes.



When the bus arrives, they find that it is overloaded and only the wife and nine kids are able to fit in the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.



After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick, that sound is driving me nuts!"



The blind man replies, "If you would've put rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up!"



<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Whistle.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Whistle:' />

[glen]

[quote name='PeterJMelb' post='28399' date='Jul 29 2010, 04:29 PM']This is not a kid joke.



It got crowded in heaven so, for one day and one day only, it was decided to only accept people who had really [color="#008000"]bad day[/color] on [color="#008000"]the day[/color] they [color="#008000"]died[/color].



St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to [color="#008000"]the first man[/color], "Tell me about the day you died." [color="#008000"]The man[/color] said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came [color="#008000"]home[/color] early to catch her with him. I searched all over [color="#008000"]the apartment[/color] but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging [color="#008000"]over the edge[/color] by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got [color="#008000"]the refrigerator[/color] and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, of which I died from."



St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in. He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"



St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job. "Tell me about the day you died?” he said to [color="#008000"]the third man[/color] in line. "OK, picture this; I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."[/quote]





i really liked this one!!!! thanks peter!!