05-11-2006, 09:04 PM (This post was last modified: 05-11-2006, 09:04 PM by glen.)
First a person makes a wish, then in the post below you say *granted* but... then an unfortunate event is caused by the wish and then the person who caused the bad thing to happen makes a wish and so on.
Example:
First person: I wish I was a teddy bear.
Second person: Granted, but a girl squezes you too hard and you die. I wish I had super powers.
Third Person: Granted. You gain super powers, including the truly astounding ability to explode every four seconds. Four seconds later, you explode.
06-11-2006, 12:30 PM (This post was last modified: 06-11-2006, 12:32 PM by marco.)
Granted. Your brewery was the finest brewery on earth but then there was a downturn in the global beer market and you turned to alcohol in your grief. You ended up losing the brewery in a poker game.
07-11-2006, 09:20 PM (This post was last modified: 07-11-2006, 09:23 PM by Kelly.)
Granted. You become a wise wing chun fighter and your fame grows. Eventually you end up doing kung fu movies for a living but you are badly injured in a stunt scene where you had attempted to do a round house kick but instead ended up knackering yourself on a stair railing <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />
A long legal battle with the host of the "Today Tonight" show followed after she got hold of the footage and wanted to air it on prime time TV <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />
granted. you decide to test your new abilities by flying very far out to space. you soon remember that there are no toilets in space....you stopped at a few different planets but they were not very favourable due to the boiling hot lava!....so you ended up trying to head home to earth but you didn't make it on time and you exploded from the pressure after eating your favourite curry the night before. THE END <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />
i wish i could eat fatty food without getting fat. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />
[color="#006600"]Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?[/color]
you find you can now eat fatty food without getting fat and also without any other adverse effects normally associated with a high fat intake. the only problem is that you have now developed a rare allergy to cooked food and find you have to survive on a diet of salads.
i wish i could go back in time to when i was seventeen, so i can have a second chance at some things i didn't get quite right the first time around.....
10-08-2008, 07:29 PM (This post was last modified: 10-08-2008, 07:30 PM by glen.)
helen your wish is granted! you travel back in time much like Michael J Fox in Back to the Future. You need to power your time travel car with old vegetables which is fine, but unfortunately you used way too much garlic. So when you arrive in the past, you reek of garlic!!!
You notice that as you try to correct all the wrongs of the past, people just turn their backs on you and wave their hands in front of their noses. Of course you don't know that all they can think of is the strong smell of garlic so you are mystified by people's reactions to you.
You decide to pack your bags and head back to the future where people aren't quite so weird!!!
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I wish that I could have the powers of Peter Petrelli from the TV series Heroes.
Granted. But the wind changes and you get stuck posing like a model with a slightly raised eyebrow and you have to walk around with that serious, dramatic and contemplative look for the rest of your days.
You become a fairy but for some strange reason you end up being the biggest fairy on earth. You stand 100 metres tall and you weight A LOT! You struggle to fly except if you stand somewhere high (like in the Himalayas) and get a really good run up. But even then you can only fly about as far as a swamp hen! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />
The other fairies are not very understanding and hardly talk to you. And they refuse to trade fairy dust with you on fair terms. You are left to mine your own fairy dust in the Kalahari desert till the end of your days. But on the plus side, you do meet the bushmen from the movie "The God's Must be Crazy" and they are very kind to you. In their language you are known as "Click Click Pop Pop" <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':laugh:' />
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I wish I could be sure of every decision I made before I made it.
Granted, but your life becomes totally boring and predictable. To compensate, you deliberately start making the wrong decisions to spice things up and things start going haywire for everyone around you.
Granted. You win lotto. You win with 4 numbers and a supplementary number. The grand total is $23.45. You head to McDonalds to spend your winnings but you find that the local maccas has run out of Big Macs. In your astonishment, you step back, trip over a Salvation Army officer in the queue behind you, and ...before you know it, you are walking away with a taxable donation receipt, no burger... and no money <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':laugh:' />
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I wish that McDonalds Big Macs were not full of fat and other crap (that I should not be eating if I wish to maintain the peak fitness levels that I aspire to attain sometime in the not too distant future) <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />
Granted. Maccas announces that they will no longer put fat or other crap in their burgers. You rush to the shop, super excited about your guilt free Mac time. You wonder why everyone is sitting there crying. You buy your burger, people watch you take your first bite. You burst into tears too. Maccas has been destroyed. It tastes like cardboard.
Granted. You wake up one morning and there is a blackberry phone glued to your arm. You pull at the phone but it just won't come off. At 8.00 am the phone makes a beeping nose and you here an electronic voice saying "Time to go to work". At 8.30am you here the same voice say "You are running late. Hurry up.". At 9.00am the voice says "Don't forget to feed the cat tonight". The phone continues to remind you to do everything you need to do (except for breathing and blinking thankfully) and you manage to get lots of stuff done during the day. But you did experience a few quirks. If you did not perform a particular task the phone would keep reminding you...so you figured out the only way to stop the reminders was to undertake a similar task. For example, the phone said "feed the cat". Now you don't have a cat but you fed someone else's cat and the reminder then stopped. The phone said "collect the mail" but there was no mail so you needed to go get some junk mail from next door's letter box and then the reminder stopped. Bottom line, you got lots of stuff done and were very organised but about 50% of the things you did were aimed solely at getting the reminders to stop.
Now overnight you considered the pros and cons of living life in this way and you decided that you rather be inefficient and live without the stupid phone. The only solution you managed to come up with was to sell the phone on ebay. However when the purchaser arrived, they were a little angry to find that you were still attached to the phone. However, lucky for you, the purchaser of the phone worked in a fish and chip shop and had access to huge quantities of oil. So this angry lady dunked you in canola oil for a few hours and then the phone finally fell off. And here ends your not so pleasant experience of being more organized.
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I wish that Monday was actually Sunday and that Sunday was actually Saturday.
Granted, but then Tuesday becomes Monday and Wednesday become Tuesday. Wednesday gets very annoyed with the new shift of titles because it's always been hump day and favoured among the people. Wednesday teams up with Thursday (who is annoyed at being Wednesday, as it was always a special day being late night shopping) and they decide to revolt. To make amends the weekday suprvisor (you) decides to swap Wednesday and Thursday which are actually Tuesday and Wednesday. Wednesday has it's usual title and position is happy but Thursday is now Tuesday and that just will not do! Thursday wants to swap with Friday to get it's usual late night shopping position. You do this, but then Friday night actually falls on a weeknight and you have no sleep in the next day. This is very bad and screws with the whole system of humanity.
Granted. You get really curly hair. But after 3 or 4 years you get sick of curly hair and start wishing for straight hair. Also, there is a distinct trend toward having long straight hair and you are feeling like you need straight hair to keep your cool and hip appearance.
So you go to a speciality salon and ask them to straighten your hair. They agree to undertake this service for you, but they leave you waiting for 2.5 hours and only offer you a tea with no milk or sugar (as they have run out).
Finally they do straighten your hair but you really are disappointed by the fact that you had a tea with no milk or sugar. You consider taking legal action against the salon but later decide against it. You spend the remainder of the day grumbling while watching episodes of Oprah and Dr Phil.
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I wish I could squeeze 10 hours sleep into the next 6 hours <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />
Granted. But you also squeeze 10 hours of dreams into 6 hours, and they overlap, making for a very confusing twist of tales. The messages your dreams are trying to send you go all haywire, and you make life changes that need not be made. You take the stairs instead of the lift and you get a knee injury. You stop having sugar and milk in your tea even though it tastes bad. Stuff like that. Bad.
I wish I had kangaroo boots [url="http://www.metacafe.com/watch/642530//"]kangaroo boots[/url]
Granted. You get the latest and greatest kangaroo boots. You leap over large wombats in a single bound and you can avoid paying for public transport because you can bound along faster than a train or a bus. Only you end up developing a medical condition known as KBBA. It stands for Kangaroo Boot Bloody Arthiritis. You get sore knees and anckles and only find mild relief from swallowing large volumes of Glucosamine tablets.
Granted. You get a pet tiger cub called Bozo. At tiger cub training school Bozo gets hassled by the other tiger cubs and eventually you need to put in a complaint to management. Eventually it is decided that the tiger cubs needs to be separated to avoid doing each other psychological harm. But one of the other tiger cubs attempts cyber bulling against poor Bozo. Eventually, to cut a long story short, Bozo ends up requiring lots of counselling and has a pretty hard life until he meets Booza who is a kind female tiger that befriends Bozo and they become great friends (and later in life they have lots of baby tiger cubs). You hope that the cycle of tiger cub cyber bullying does not continue.....SEE PART 2.
When Bozo was 1 year old, he was sent to the Tiger Cub Warfare Centre in Tibet. Now at the age of 1, most tigers are growing bigger and stronger and they are sent to the Warfare Centre to sharpen their claws, learn how to fight (primarily for self defence but also for fighting over tasty meals like Yaks and the like) and also to learn discipline. A tiger cub without discipline is usually sent into exile and their barely ever get to eat Yaks! So that is a very bad thing for a Tiger Cub.
Now after 3 months of Warfare training, Bozo is doing very well and is promoted to the rank of Sergeant Tiger Cub which is quite an honour. He usually hunts Yaks in his spare time on the weekend, and generally stays out of trouble. He does not get into fights, does not drink with the other Cubs and is generally progressing very well. He keeps in regular contact with Booza who is studying at a nearby Tibetan Kung Fu Centre. Usually the female tigers are taught Kung Fu to fight off unwanted attention from the Male Cubs. Booza is doing very well.
Now to cut a long storey short, Bozo manages to break the cyber bullying cycle. In the Tibetan mountains he does not really get access to computers and becomes anti-technology. He spends lots of time reading and also learns to sing which is quite unusual for a Tiger Cub. His favourite song goes like this:
Tiger Cub, Tiger Cub, La La La
Tiger Cub, Tiger Cub, La La La
ooooooooh ooooooh Tiger Cub
Anyway, the song is a great hit with the other Tiger Cubs and he gains the respect of pretty much everyone in Tibet. He stays in Tibet for another year at the Warfare Centre before he and Booza head off on a great adventure.....but that is a story for another time..... <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />
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