18-02-2008, 05:39 PM
I need some advice, me and my husband and have been married for about a year and a half and have been together for 5 years. He is so wonderful some days and treats me like I am all that matters in the world. But he has an addictive personality, stubborn and when I try to talk to him he acts like a 5 year old and throws almost hissy fits. About maybe a year ago a close friend of his (since grade school) came back from a mission (mormon thing) didn't drink and lived like a mormon is supposed to. we are not religious and so he fell into our and his friends evil ways and got really into smoking pot and drinking. Long story short my husband started smoking pot alot also and got to the point where I couldn't even have a conversation with him because he was so brain dead. I have to mention I don't mind pot smokers I don't smoke though. It got to the point where he was hiding it from me and lying about it, he'd lie about it until he finally gave in (he's a terrible liar) then try to play it off like he was going to tell me duh of course. He has cut down a lot but I still don't like it and having an addictive personality once he smokes it snowballs and snowballs. He only smokes with his mormon friend, who he invites over A LOT. I am now having major issues with him drinking. He is not an alcoholic but about three new years ago we were at a party of one of his friends (a girl) who is a self aclaimed nimpho and is not shy about her attraction to my husband and at 12 he was so wasted he kissed this girl on the lips right infront of me, I eventually got over it as much as I could but just this last new years He again got completely drunk, I wasn't having a good time and wanted to leave and was upstairs trying to get ahold of a cab, he knew I was trying to get a cab. After about 45 minutes on hold I went back downstairs to find him dancing close with another girl, It made me a little mad but it was just dancing, I walked by them and his eyes were closed and he kissed this girl romanticly on the neck. I was furious and refused to talk to him 1 because i don't like fighting infront of people and 2 he was slobbering drunk. I ended up sleeping at my moms and he swore that he was sorry and that he would do anything for me and im his life and f me im crazy he didn't do it (like jekle and hyde) the next day I had a serious conversation about it explaining what I saw and asked him how he was going to make sure that this was never going to happen again, he told me he wasn't going to drink anymore. Not drinking anymore turned into only one beer because in his head he is not going to do anything because he is at home, then one beer turned into a six pack (again this is all with that same friend over) then just last night he got another six pack drank it with his friend I went out with my mom and came back to find they also had some shots (from liquor his mom gave us from mexico) I explained to him before that I don't like him drinking at all 1 because he promised which now he swears he didn't then trails off mumbling terrible things about me under his breath 2 it reminds me so vividly of him kissing that girl which again he says he doesn't think he did. I'v resorted to stop talking when he starts getting defensive and pats me on the head and condensendingly says "ok you believe that then". I feel like i cannot talk to him because he just gives me empty promises (again I cannot think of one promise he has kept) and he gets so angry and just says im making this all up and that I don't feel certain ways and whatever and he didn't do anything wrong. I'm at the point of giving him a choice me or his habits. Oh he also steals stupid stuff from stores, things like cheese because its fun for him and he says hes never going to get caught and the lying is non stop even after promises and promises of him stopping. He won't go to any meetings because he refuses he has a problem and everything he does he chooses. He also stuggles with depression. Phew, sorry lots of info but please help I don't want to get a divorce over things that TO ME can so easily be fixed.
