Has Anyone Noticed That Melbourne People Can Be Quite "standoffish"?

[glen]

I say go fishing. I am never bored as I just go fishing <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':notworthy:' />

[glen]

Hahaha. Yeah a lot of people say that. Lucky for me other people find fishing boring so there is more fish for me!! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[humz]

Thank God for this forum and this post! I've been here 4 weeks and had started wondering if there was something wrong with me coz of the way people were acting but now I see its the way it is! Was getting quite sick of talking to myself too

[glen]

Hi Humz! Welcome aboard! Glad you found us.

[iblis.raeb]

To the original poster,



I've just moved back to Melbourne after living in Geelong nearly two years and you know what? ...you are absolutely right!

[syd4ne]

[quote name='iblis.raeb' post='27110' date='May 30 2010, 01:20 PM']To the original poster,



I've just moved back to Melbourne after living in Geelong nearly two years and you know what? ...you are absolutely right![/quote]

you mean geelong has strong community bonding compared to Melb?



few days ago my friend told me that people who live in the country side don't talk to strangers. they only talk to those people who were born there <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':laugh:' />

[iblis.raeb]

[quote name='syd4ne' post='27113' date='May 30 2010, 04:32 PM']you mean geelong has strong community bonding compared to Melb?



few days ago my friend told me that people who live in the country side don't talk to strangers. they only talk to those people who were born there <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':laugh:' />[/quote]

There is more support for local industry and people are just more inclined to communicate with strangers, in Geelong. Geelong's roots are more rural.



My experiences in Geelong differed greatly to you friends.

[quote name='PeterJMelb' post='27114' date='May 30 2010, 04:48 PM']Come on guys!

I don't believe any of that stuff![/quote]

Peter, giving advice is easy ...there is no commitment involved.

[iblis.raeb]

[quote name='PeterJMelb' post='27116' date='May 30 2010, 06:10 PM']Just who is going to ask a stranger for commitment?

Perhaps at an accident scene you may ask someone to help.

Is that commitment?[/quote]

I mean to say that advice ends there.

[iblis.raeb]

I didn't say Melbournians weren't helpful, Peter.



Asking for advice/help and trying to make general polite conversation or befriending are completely different situations ...and there are always exceptions to the rule.



I don't want to sound all airy fairy about the point i'm trying to make here but there is just a different energy in Melbourne compared to Geelong ...and again, there are always exceptions to the rule and i'm not talking about how individual Melbournians act towards their own friends.

[glen]

hahaha nice one peter.

[glen]

I think standoffish means that they (generally) like to keep other people at arm's length and are not keen to get "close" to others.



Though that is a bit simplistic because they may actually be very close with their family and (few/many) friends. ...But they feel they have enough social connection and don't need any more.



They might think:



"I have enough friends/family"

"Other people (excluding my family and friends) are not important to me"

"I don't want to be involved in their lives"

"I don't want to spend time with them"

"Their happiness is not my problem"

"I have my own interests and concerns"



So it could be characterised as a form of selfishless...Or it could be characterised as a sign that someone is basically content with life and doesn't have any good reason to increase their social connectedness.



That is my definition!! But others may have different versions! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> Happy to hear them!

[nwoexposer]

Hi guys,



It's been a while since I've checked this thread which I started and as a result, haven't replied until now.



[quote name='iblis.raeb' timestamp='1275189641' post='27110']

To the original poster,



I've just moved back to Melbourne after living in Geelong nearly two years and you know what? ...you are absolutely right!

[/quote]



I am relieved to see that other people have similar experiences to me, even if only slight.



Geelong does seem to have a different social vibe to it, through my experiences, the Geelong people I have come across are extremely friendly but I wouldn't live there but certainly pass through/visit.



I still share many of the viewpoints that I have expressed.



Standoffish in my opinion is having a big ego, being pretentious and being insecure strutting around the streets. I see it all the time in Melbourne. Yes, Melbourne people are generally friendly and helpful but a lot really couldn't care less about you.



My main issue now is the lack of activities to do in Melbourne. Sure, it's becoming more an international friendly city, but it's just missing a lot of things, it has a lot of gaps. Besides going clubbing, heading to bars, going to the football/rugby/soccer game, dining out, getting drunk, there's not a whole lot else to do, and I seriously believe that. I would really love to know of more options for activities that I can do, and I would do them, because this city, although great, has been boring me for the last few years.



I'd love to hear from everyone.

[glen]

There is always indoor rock climbing! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[iblis.raeb]

Yeah, come to the cafe meet up that Kara is organizing scheduled for sometime in the next few weeks.



We will be heading to Hardrock, the indoor rock climbing centre in the CBD, after the cafe meetup, nwoexposer.



What about you, glen?

[Jem777]

Where I come from (Singapore), people are not too friendly, so Melbourne gets my thumbs up!

[glen]

Not sure if i come or not. I have a sore neck again!!! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> And rock climbing tends to make it worse <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[iblis.raeb]

[quote name='Jem777' timestamp='1281354971' post='28730']

Where I come from (Singapore), people are not too friendly, so Melbourne gets my thumbs up!

[/quote]

I saw a bit on T.V. the other night about how Singapore is such a clean city, like ridiculously obsessive compulsive clean, my kind of clean.



[quote name='glen' timestamp='1281362046' post='28735']

Not sure if i come or not. I have a sore neck again!!! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> And rock climbing tends to make it worse <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[/quote]

Fair enough, glen ...all that looking up to keep from looking down tends to strain my neck too. :-)

[Jem777]

[quote name='iblis.raeb' timestamp='1281394369' post='28743']

I saw a bit on T.V. the other night about how Singapore is such a clean city, like ridiculously obsessive compulsive clean, my kind of clean.

[/quote]



Yeah they're crazy about keeping the streets clean. No littering (could get fine $200 if you throw your ciggie butt on the ground), no chewing gum (ya rly, big time fine), no spitting on the floor. Heaps clean.

[quote name='PeterJMelb' timestamp='1281401097' post='28753']

Hello Jem.



How good would it be if Melbourne were as clean as Singapore.

I'd get all the spray can idiots sit them on the pavement and spray them until . . .

Yeah I know I've offended everyone . . . Sorry don't care!

[/quote]



I'd honestly don't mind a little graffiti, I do a little street photog and it's right up my alley. My main gripe about Melb is how dirty the trains are! Seriously, some are really filthy.

[johnbateman]

[quote name='glen' timestamp='1275390883' post='27166']

I think standoffish means that they (generally) like to keep other people at arm's length and are not keen to get "close" to others.



Though that is a bit simplistic because they may actually be very close with their family and (few/many) friends. ...But they feel they have enough social connection and don't need any more.



They might think:



"I have enough friends/family"

"Other people (excluding my family and friends) are not important to me"

"I don't want to be involved in their lives"

"I don't want to spend time with them"

"Their happiness is not my problem"

"I have my own interests and concerns"



So it could be characterised as a form of selfishless...Or it could be characterised as a sign that someone is basically content with life and doesn't have any good reason to increase their social connectedness.



That is my definition!! But others may have different versions! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> Happy to hear them!

[/quote]



Probably quite understandable behaviour in people who have lived here a long time.



As someone coming from New Zealand years ago, I didn't have a problem.

[johnbateman]

Flinder's st toilet is the worst toilet in the known universe.