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Short Lame Jokes - Printable Version

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Short Lame Jokes - glen - 17-07-2008

Quote:Q: Whaddaya call a boomerang that don't come back?

A: A stick.



Quote:The doctor comes out into the waiting room for the next patient. He's shocked to see a man sitting there with a frog growing out of his head. The doctor's cries, "Oh my god, how did that happen?"

The frog answered "I don't know; it began as a pimple on my butt."



Quote:I met a camel with no humps, so I named him Humphrey.



Quote:Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? It's got great food, but no atmosphere.



Quote:Man "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains"



Doc "Pull yourself together, man"



Quote:Why don't blind people like to sky dive?

Because it scares the hell out of the dog.



Quote:Whats long, brown and sticky?



A stick



Short Lame Jokes - scrooge2 - 17-07-2008

Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted



"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud." "Yes sir, it's fresh ground."





What do you call a sleepwalking nun? Roamin' Catholic.





Hangovers - the wrath of grapes


Short Lame Jokes - paul4kner - 17-07-2008

Patient..Doc,i've swallowed a billiard ball.

Doc...get on the end of the cue.

:lol: :lol:

Paul.


Short Lame Jokes - scrooge2 - 17-07-2008

bet i can out lame you <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Wink' />





Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"



I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any


Short Lame Jokes - POWERZONE - 17-07-2008

Two Blondes meet on either side of a river..... <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/fishie.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Wink' />



One says "How do you get to the other side?" <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blink.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Big Grin' />



Other one says "You are on the other side!" <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wow.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':o' />



:lol:


Short Lame Jokes - scrooge2 - 17-07-2008

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"



Blonde Logic



January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.



February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!



March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"



April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!



May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!



June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.



July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!



August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.



September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???



October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.



November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!



December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!



What a year!!


Short Lame Jokes - glen - 18-07-2008

I really liked March. That was a classic. Here is another one:



Quote:Two flies are sitting on a piece of crap.



One farts, the other one goes, "Hey, do you mind? I'm trying to EAT!"



Short Lame Jokes - scrooge2 - 18-07-2008

duh, are you suposed to like lame jokes? <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dry.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':fishie:' />



A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"





What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk



ok



lame? check <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Smile' />

short? check <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Tongue' />



see you all later :lol:


Short Lame Jokes - paul4kner - 18-07-2008

Why has the elephant got big ears?

Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom.

Lame,short and bloody old. :lol:


Short Lame Jokes - scrooge2 - 18-07-2008

a guy walks into a bar,



the second one ducks <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':fishie:' />





Why was the Tomato blushing? Because he saw the salad dressing <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blink.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Smile' /> got to be the lamest yet <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Tongue' />





[color="#000066"]"Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks she's a duck."



"You better bring her in to see me straight away."



"I can't do that - she's already flown south for the winter." <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ohmy.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Tongue' />

[/color]



Short Lame Jokes - glen - 10-09-2008

I don't know if i get it <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Smile' /> Is there a hidden meaning? Or is it just supposed to be a super lame and obvious statement?


Short Lame Jokes - radioholic - 10-09-2008

[quote name='mello yello' post='9165' date='Sep 10 2008, 10:40 AM']<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Smile' />



Hidden meaning ?



Youre looking too deep Glen



Its a SuperLame joke .."what did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car ?? "



..well ok it could have been anything ....but ......





ok try this one





What's Irish and stays out all night?











Paddy 'O Furniture.





<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':laugh:' />[/quote]





i get it......... <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Rolleyes' />





and glen are you having a blonde moment?



it's called lame short jokes for a reason....... <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/LMAO.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':o' />


Short Lame Jokes - glen - 11-09-2008

<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Loser.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='B)' /> Lol. Sorry. I try harder next time <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/officechair.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':o' />


Short Lame Jokes - radioholic - 12-09-2008

[quote name='mello yello' post='9327' date='Sep 12 2008, 08:33 AM'][center][Image: 1-no-error-occurred.jpg][/center][/quote]



we like the lame jokes...........


Short Lame Jokes - glen - 12-09-2008

I like that one <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/fishie.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':officechair:' /> <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/fishie.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':Loser:' /> <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/fishie.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='^_^' /> <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wow.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='^_^' /> Anyone for fish?


Short Lame Jokes - paul4kner - 17-09-2008

Kevin Rudd <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Talking Ear Off.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Rolleyes' /> <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/LMAO.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Rolleyes' /> .

Also..... a dyslexic man walks into a bra. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/LMAO.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Rolleyes' />

Paul


Short Lame Jokes - glen - 18-09-2008

hahaha nice!!!!



Q: What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?

A: Nobody cries when you cut up a bagpipe


Short Lame Jokes - radioholic - 21-09-2008

Three old guys are out walking.

First one says" windy isn't it"

second says" no it's Thursday"

Third one says" So am I let's get a beer"



<img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/LMAO.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Rolleyes' /> <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/Applause.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':laugh:' /> <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/thumbsup2.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':laugh:' /> <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':o' />



I know you've heard it before - but come on it's funny <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/LMAO.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':ph34r:' />



Your killing me <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/LMAO.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':laugh:' />


Short Lame Jokes - radioholic - 24-09-2008

don't your jeans fit....... <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/LMAO.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':laugh:' />


Short Lame Jokes - POWERZONE - 24-09-2008

[quote name='radioholic' post='10088' date='Sep 24 2008, 09:41 PM']don't your jeans fit....... <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/LMAO.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='<_<' />[/quote]

Well it's been well publicized about how some of us blokes have extra "baggage" to carry <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':laugh:' />