How to Prank a Telemarketer: Moo like a cow

[glen]

How to Prank a Telemarketer: Moo like a cow



Are you fed up with telemarketers calling you and trying to sell you things that you don't want to buy or trying to get you to do some stupid marketing survey? Well its time to fight back! Here are some fun pranks you can play on telemarketers.

• Making mooing sounds until they hang up.
  
  

• If they ring trying to sell something then you can try to sell them something as well. Perhaps an old pair of shoes? Or an old tennis racquet?
  
  

• Every few minutes repeat, "You're going to have to bear with me, I have a slight short term memory loss problem…who is this again?"
  
  

• Keep repeating, "I knew you were going to say that…" (www.zefrank.com/donotcall/)
  
  

• Say "I'm sorry, I can't hear you because I don't have a phone..." This should really confuse them.
  
  

• Say "Please hold for a moment" and then put the phone down and come back after 10 or so minutes to see if they are still on the line.
  
  

• Pretend to not be able to speak english.
  
  

• Blabber on about something meaningless to see how long you can keep them on the phone for. Start talking about the weather. Then move on to sporting events and perhaps the seven wonders of the world. Keep a record of your longest call and let us know how you go!
  
  

• Tell them that you are partly deaf and see how loudly they will talk.
  
  

• Read them a Banjo Paterson poem (The Man from Snow River would be a nice choice).
  
  

• At the start of the call explain to the telemarketer that the call is being recorded for quality control and security purposes and ask that they consent to the recording. If they some nervous ask whether they would like you to escalate the matter to a supervisor.
  
  

Have fun!!!!! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[marco]

haha nice one <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> i am going to try to sell them something next time i have a call! maybe a bollywood film? <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> most of our calls come from india.

[marco]

you know i just remembered that Australia will soon have a "Do Not Call Register". It is supposed to be up and running in 2007 sometime i believe. and companies will get big fines if they try to call you when your number is listed as a "Do Not Call" number. the number of calls from india should fall dramatically <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[Mel-Visitor]

[url="http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/"]http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/[/url]



How to deal with marketers the fun way :-) Enjoy

[glen]

hi visitor,



nice one...the sound took a while to load but it was worth it!



cheers, glen

[Tearstone]

I have not had a tele-marketer sell me something awhile. I do not have a house phone, only cell phones and they are not allowed to call cell phones.

[glen]

that is a good idea. plus cell phones would probably cost them too much anyway even if they could ring! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[Tearstone]

[quote name='glen' post='2615' date='Mar 7 2007, 06:21 AM']that is a good idea. plus cell phones would probably cost them too much anyway even if they could ring! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />[/quote]



Actually cell phone rates are primarily the cell phone owner's responsibility. But we get so many free minutes it really does not matter much nowadays.

[MsMixte]

I'm still laughing about this--I thought only the United States was cursed with the blight of telemarketers.



The state in which I reside, Washington, does not allow telemarketers to call at will. Any telemarketer who calls a telephone registered in the state of Washington must have a 'business' relationship with the person being called. Naturally, there are many exceptions, but it has really cut down on the number of calls I've received.



That, plus I work graveyard, so I tended to be a bit of a bear when I was woken up by a telemarketer. I went to an answering machine years ago, just so I would not have to bother.



MisMixte

[glen]

most of the callers we get are from India. you can usually pick up their accent pretty quick! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[CDarklock]

I had a good one. The telemarketer wouldn't shut up. I kept saying I had to go, he kept fast-talking over me before I could finish.



Eventually, I had a flash of inspiration and shouted "oh, man, I crapped my pants!"



He stammered for a few seconds and then hung up.



Another fun one is the "Dave's not here" routine. In one of Cheech and Chong's movies, Cheech's character is named Dave. He goes out of the hotel room to get ice, and the door closes and locks behind him. So he knocks on the door, and Chong asks "Who is it?"



"It's Dave," he replies. After a short pause and a glance around the room, Chong shouts "Dave's not here."



This goes on pretty much forever. And you can do it, too. Ask for the telemarketer's name. When he gives it to you, for example saying his name is Bob Weimeraner, tell him he's not here. Be very businesslike; don't say "Bob's not here" in a whacked-out moan like a stoner, say "we don't have anyone here by that name". Tell him he must have the wrong number. Ask who he's calling for again. Get a name, put him on hold, then come back and ask who's calling. When he tells you his name again, you guessed it, "Dave's not here!"



Record the call for more fun later with your friends and a suitable supply of alcohol.

[glen]

that is a cracker of an idea! thanks for the tip! <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[theindianstudio]

i am going to try to sell them something next time i have a call! maybe a bollywood film?

[franfran]

I had a call from one yesterday evening. He wanted to see if we wanted to refinance our home loan - I told him the house was fully paid up (it isn't). Then he wanted to get us to take out finance on investment properties - I told him we had two already and didn't want any more (we don't have any). He wished me a good evening and hung up.....

[brettyg84]

I have told them before that now isn't a good time (having dinner) but if you give me your number I'll call back when you are having dinner with your family... He said he couldn't give out his number and I told him that I didn't give him my number and hung up <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[glen]

hahaha that is pretty fun. I will try that next time i get a marketing call. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[toetapping]

I am afraid I am rude. I just say not interested and hang up before they can say another word. Don't have many these days as have registered with "Do Not Call Register".



Have a friend who has a whistle by the phone. That does the trick.

[Haiden John]

Okay dudes, I worked as a telemarketer for a while and I can honestly say it's the worst job I've ever done. But I was desperate for work, I was living on a couch and eating only a couple of meals a week.



Being a telemarketer is a ###### job, and you have to be desperate to do it. All we get is abuse.



The next time one calls, how about having a chat with them? Just make it clear that you're not buying and give them a few minutes of conversation.



You're all on this site because you want to talk to people, why not make someone's day?



I now work as a dishpig, the hours are long, the pay is ####, I'm exhausted all the time. but it's better than tele-marketing.