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Proverbs
#1
i always have my doubts about whether things you find on the internet that are presented like this are actually true (the last one, for example, doesn't sound like something your average six year old would think of), but here goes:









A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1. Don't change horses until they stop running

2. Strike while the bug is close

3. It's always darkest before Daylight Saving Time

4. Never underestimate the power of termites

5. You can lead a horse to water but How

6. Don't bite the hand that looks dirty

7. No news is impossible

8. A miss is as good as a Mr

9. You can't teach an old dog new Maths

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll stink in the morning

11. Love all, trust Me

12.. The pen is mightier than the pigs

13. An idle mind is the best way to relax

14. Where there's smoke there's pollution

15. Happy the bride who gets all the presents

16. A penny saved is not much

17. Two's company, three's the Musketeers

18. Don't put off till tomorrow what you put on to go to bed

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and You have to blow your nose

20. There are none so blind as Stevie Wonder

21. Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded

22. If at first you don't succeed get new batteries

23. You get out of something only what you See in the picture on the box

24. When the blind lead the blind get out of the way


25. A bird in the hand is going to poop on you



And…………………….



26. Better late than Pregnant
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#2
not bad! i have seen something similar floating around the email world.



cheers, glen
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#3
Rather than start a new thread...



These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.





The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."



A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."



"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr



"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill



"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill



"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow



"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).



"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)



"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas



"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln



"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain



"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde



"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill



"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.



"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop



"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."- John Bright



"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb



"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson



"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating



"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E. Leonard



"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford (one flash & it's gone. ha)



"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed



"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand



"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker



"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain



"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West



"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde



"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)



"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder



"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
I'm just chillaxin'
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#4
:lol:





Quack not thou as the duck quacketh, lest thou waddelest also. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':blink:' />



[Image: ducksy.jpg][color="#6600ff"]



[/color]
More rain, more rest; more water will suit the ducks best. <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Smile' />







he who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool for ever <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':wub:' />





if you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow <img src='http://www.melbournechat.org/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='Smile' />





if you don't want anyone to know, don't do it :lol:
Rest In Peace my little fuzzball

i will always love you





i'm not really here

and situps still suck LOL





j s m d
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